Feeling the burn, a lifetime of confessions..

I've decided to use this blog as a place to not only document the amazing process of planning my wedding, but I'm also using it to vent/discuss my struggles that clearly I need to deal with. I read so many other blogs and and I've heard so many good things about how refeshing it feels to write down your fears, hope, dreams etc. Here is the first of many..

Seeing as I am going to be wearing a white dress sometime in the next two years (date not confirmed as of yet) , I really do not want to look like a beached whale in the dress. Clearly now is the best time/motivation that I've ever had to lose weight & maintain a healthier lifestyle.

I have spent my entire life struggling with my weight. Damn you DNA for building me like my mom's side and my sister like my dad's. She's a twig, and has never had an issue with weight in her life. For as long as I can remember, my weight has always been a sore & extremely sensative subject. I can remember growing up having my mom force me to try every fad diet possible w/her to help me lose weight. Like most people, I tend to start one and stay on it for a few weeks and then I lose interest/engergy etc. I've never had any real success, and I recently stepped on the scale after avoiding it for almost a year. I forced myself to do after seeing a picture that Mr. G, my dear hubby to be, took of me while I was getting ready last weekend. I was horrfied by how my body looked. I've noticed these last few months that I have put on a few pounds, but I've been in denial about it..

So the number that I saw on the scale horrified me.. It's the highest I've ever been, and I am NOT happy about it.. Clearly, I need to do something. So I've started looking around on the internet for some dieting plans, and exercise plans that I can do while still living my busy life. And I know it's probably going to be the hardest thing I've ever done. But I need to do this. I want to be able to walk down that aisle looking amazing. I want to feel beautiful & sexy. I want people to look at me and say wow, she looks amazing...

But I'm not doing this for them or for Mr. G or for anyone really other than myself. I want to live a long & healthy life. And clearly, if I keep going the way I have been, I won't be able to..

So here's to my new, hopefully life changing adventure... Wish me luck.